Went with a used mid-length Sidewinder I snagged off ebay (think it was actually probably a member here, as the name on the return address seemed familiar for some reason). Got her up and running and took her out to a rec day with the husband and neighbors of an old friend of mine. Used an APP 50-round hopper and redid my WTF puller rig with M4 shingle pouches and APP 30-round Tac-Pods so that I couldn't be accused of beating up on the newbs.
It was really my first time rolling with an open class pump since the first day I played paintball for a friend's birthday party in like 6th grade (I'm 28 now lol). Also had my first speedball experience and dominated the snake
Only thing is, by the sound of it I need a stiffer valve spring- she's got that farty sound to each shot and gets absolutely horrid efficiency at the moment (I was getting about 300-350 rounds out of a 48/4500 before it was getting below 1000 psi). Don't have a cocker valve tool in my inventory right now so it'll have to wait until after I recoup funds from my CCM SR1 purchase, but it does WORK, just not ideally tuned. Thanks for your help guys!