Thank you all for the kind words and help!
( only you know the right answer. if you step away and find something new, then its all good. paintball isn't for everyone. for every hobby, there are loads that tried it, got into it but then after a couple years, lost interest. craigslist is full of that. its all a matter of what you want and you would like. gas powered remote cars have the tinker ability as well as RC planes and boats. you don't get the rush of shooting someone but the customization is huge. )
Thats another problem i have... ive been into paintball, rc airplanes, guitars, home studio recording, working on computers and electronics, and many other things and i cant seem to find one i want to stick to... i always end up getting depressed in the end...