If they're too tacticool for school, then just kit out as John Rambo.
Find a skimpy, camo wife beater. Torn pants. Carry an arrow gun or a DSG and a really big paint knife. Don't forget the red headband and the spray tan.
Have cheesy 80's action lines on the ready... "Don't push it or I'll give you a war you won't believe."
Walk up to one of the tactitard tents... "Can you tell me if Delmar Berry lives here? "