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Old 08-26-2014, 03:22 PM   #5621 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Gascolator View Post
DashHopes has a nelspot that has internals that were polished by Chuck Norris, using only his beard to polish them.
That nelspot never needs lube, shoots 2,000 ball per second, never needs reloaded, doesn't require an air source and when the paintball hits somebody the result is the same as if Chuck Norris round house kicked them.
He nick named the gun Reggie.
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Old 08-26-2014, 05:22 PM   #5622 (permalink)
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About DH's avatar picture: He had never before in his life cried because he's such a badass. He tried it once, and yellow paint is one came out. The result is pictured, and he could not care less if the whole world saw it. He can still whoop 'em.
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Old 08-26-2014, 08:50 PM   #5623 (permalink)
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Lew is THE reason for Dash Hopes tears...

Lew and DH engaged in a snap shooting duel that leads them over the Hyperball court. DH shot off Lew's hopper, effectively disarming him. DH proceeded to reveals himself to be Lew's father, contrary to Super-Cameron's claim that DH had killed his father. Horrified by this fact, Lew refused DH's offer to rule the CXBL at his side and threw himself down the "Crack Pipe" at tape 50.
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Old 08-27-2014, 02:03 AM   #5624 (permalink)
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PhantomGSI once tried to win a hotdog eating contest by loading hotdogs in his paintball gun and firing them down his throat. That day he was banned forever from competitive eating for frightening everybody with his new hotdog guzzling technique and received the unfortunate nickname "The Guzzler."
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Old 08-27-2014, 06:50 AM   #5625 (permalink)
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Gascolator is a local legend for his overly extraordinary eliminations on the field.

One time, he slow walked across an entire field, paintballs flying all around him but never being hit, and effectively surrendered the opposing team of 12 by asking them if they would like to borrow his white flag on a stick. He carries it into games for just such occasions.

Another time, he brought his own air horn onto the field and 3 seconds after the ref started the game, Gascolator blew his horn and then yelled across the field, "As a fair warning, I am Gascolator, would you like to surrender?" The entire WARSAW Pact at Fulda Gap then surrendered freely.

Another time still, he merely threw a shoe at a bunker and eliminated 4 people behind it. The shoe he threw was from someone he had just frightened into surrendering.

All true stories
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Welcome back buddy! And GanonsGrin is your brother? He is the devil
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Old 08-27-2014, 10:04 AM   #5626 (permalink)
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GG knows the above stories to be true. He was forced into surrendering by Gascolator. He refuses to talk about it. To this day, he must fight the panic and shame that its memory brings to the fore.
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'cuz Jesus just don't seem to be impartially working.
And all of the others can barely stay in the running.
But everyone is still right here waiting"

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Old 08-27-2014, 10:42 AM   #5627 (permalink)
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Lew doesn't actually play paintball, he prefers pantsball. He still shows up to the paintball field but only wears pants and a mask. He then proceeds to sneak around on the field to find people laying down and sniping and tea bags them until they surrender. Enemies and teammates alike, no one is safe in pantsball.
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Welcome back buddy! And GanonsGrin is your brother? He is the devil
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Old 08-27-2014, 09:39 PM   #5628 (permalink)
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Pantsball was invented by GanonsGrin.
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Quote:
Originally Posted by The Flounder

I had to report your post

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There's a joke there somewhere...
Because that is funny on several levels
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that's not fair. if they are not smart enough, or have no knowledge of the ramifications of their stupidity, then they should pay the price.
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Old 08-27-2014, 09:48 PM   #5629 (permalink)
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Quote:
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Pantsball was invented by GanonsGrin.
Only because I tired to give you a fighting chance against me on the field....

Super-Cameron once opened up a petting zoo where his only exhibits were Sea Monkeys, an albino peacock, and a three legged mule named Burt Reynolds Jr. It didn't take long for old Burt Jr to go to the big petting zoo in the sky and the peacock was just simply too delicious to last too long. The same year this venture failed, everyone in the family got pet sea monkeys for Christmas.

Best.......Christmas.....Ever!!!
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Welcome back buddy! And GanonsGrin is your brother? He is the devil
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Old 08-27-2014, 10:13 PM   #5630 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Gascolator View Post
DashHopes has a nelspot that has internals that were polished by Chuck Norris, using only his beard to polish them.
That nelspot never needs lube, shoots 2,000 ball per second, never needs reloaded, doesn't require an air source and when the paintball hits somebody the result is the same as if Chuck Norris round house kicked them.
He nick named the gun Reggie.
RIP
"heinous"
2006-2014
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