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Old 06-15-2007, 08:44 PM   #1 (permalink)
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Talking My Application to No'MAAM

Hey all...

Just sent an application "letter" to MstrTal for admission to No'MAAM (see link below for their website)

mstrtal - ****** NO'MAAM

I thought you might enjoy my thoughts

<letter follows>

Dear Mr. (or is that Mistress?) Tal,

I believe that I would be an excellent candidate for inclusion in your organization, No'maam. I recently came upon your site through the sig of your #2 Listessa, who frequents mcarterbrown. I have read your description of paintball metrosexuals, and believe myself to be the diametric opposite =-)

Here is a list of my qualifications: (adapted from your "Top Signs you are a Paintball Metrosexual A.K.A. AGG" list) (your list copied below for your convenience)

Top Signs you are a Paintball Metrosexual A.K.A. AGG
  • You spend an ungodly amount of time searching for "Rare" or AGG worthy Goggle Straps
  • You use phrases such as Gat, Madd Skillz and Upz.
  • You consider L33T a perfectly normal way to "Chat" across the net
  • You use a retarted amount of symbols in thread titles (Example ##$$!!@!!!! )
  • The inability to workon your own Paintball equipment with out massive amounts of JBWeld and Ducktape
  • You believe bonus balling is perfectly natural and acceptable
  • You feel that Pods are communal property
  • You spend more money on clothing and assesories then on actual paintball equipment
  • You have played woodsball in bright "AGG" jersey's with a shiny electro
  • Rate of Fire gives you "Made Skillz"
  • You do not consider a gun Custum unless it is loaded down with mass marketed after market "Upz"


Reasons why I am not an "AGG"

#1 - My goggle straps are the same goggle straps from my first pair of goggles, a pair of Vents Predators. I just shift them from goggle to goggle. The reason? No other goggle straps have a back latch. Form over function, always.

#2 - A paintball marker is not a "gat". A 6-barrelled, .58 caliber, paper cartridge using, hand cranked, near artillery piece is a "gat" Aside from that, various electrically-powered 6 barreled firearms of caliber ranging from 7.62mm to 30mm also qualify. A spider-sonix with a sniperrrrrrrrrz 20" barrel does NOT qualify... Nor does a $1500 25bps Wagner Power Painter XLS with eyezzz.

#3 - Leet? Is that related to leek? Cause if it is, it makes for pretty good soup.

#4 - I c@n'T re@a11y spe11 too g00d wit 5ymb0lz. My spell checker keeps telling me there's something wrong.

#5 - I service my own gear... for the most part. Actually the most telling feature of an AGG is the ability to get their gun apart... then not be able to get it back together again. I only OCCASIONALLY have leftover parts after taking my gun apart and putting it back together. ("What's this o-ring doing out here?")

#6 - Bonus balling should be rewarded with summary paintball excecution. Wipers should be rewarded in a similar fashion. (Chocolate cigarette, blindfold, and a firing squad consisting of 3 newbies who need target practice with their electros) (It's not so bad... they might hit with ONE paintball)

#7 - Pods are NOT communal property. I don't want to touch anything that someone else's balls have been in...

#8 - I have not spent more money on clothes and accessories than my markers. Come to think of it... I think my car is now worth less than my collection of markers. The sure sign of "not an AGG" is that your markers are actually worth more NOW, than when they were built.

#9 - I play woodsball, and I do so in the same old pair of retread, army-navy store surplus, camos that I started with in 1992. I DO have a new set of hunting ghille that I'm dying to try, though. That doesn't disqualify me, does it?

#10 - Rate of fire is not an issue for me. I usually use an old Typhoon... but NOW... i've got an old stock KP-2 to play with... I think I'm happily going backwards in the ROF arms race. HOWEVER, I must admit to having 2 electros. I use them to satisfy my curiosity about life on the other side. That, and they are fun to tinker with.

#11 - *sigh* I must admit that my electro's are significantly upgraded... but that's just me trying to satisfy my tinkering bug.

Hopefully, this list has garnered me a spot in your distingsuished brigade. I would be honored to put your organization into my sig.

Rypper72 on mcarterbrown, pbreview, and Rypper572 on pbnation

<end letter>
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Old 06-15-2007, 10:33 PM   #2 (permalink)
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I think writing a letter to join is kinda "AGG" can't we just call him on the phone and burp the alphabet or something?
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Old 06-15-2007, 10:35 PM   #3 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Rypper72 View Post
#7 - Pods are NOT communal property. I don't want to touch anything that someone else's balls have been in...

Seems like an excellent application.
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Old 06-16-2007, 12:54 AM   #4 (permalink)
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OOOooohhhh burping the alphabet!

Yes... definitely less Agg than writing a letter

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Old 06-16-2007, 03:36 AM   #5 (permalink)
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Nice application! However, how is sharing pods bad? If you are playing woodsball and your teammate runs out of ammo, aren't you supposed to give them some ammo? I know I've tossed a pod to a teammate a couple of times, and even gave them a couple handfuls from my pod... Or am I missing something here...?
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Old 06-16-2007, 08:53 AM   #6 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by pizzaluvr View Post
Nice application! However, how is sharing pods bad? If you are playing woodsball and your teammate runs out of ammo, aren't you supposed to give them some ammo? I know I've tossed a pod to a teammate a couple of times, and even gave them a couple handfuls from my pod... Or am I missing something here...?
I believe he was referring to "pod thief's" who like to collect pods during/after a speed-ball game to make sure they have enough or extra. Also they tend to believe that if there laying around they are there for the taking, since most of the time they don't own any!!
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Old 06-17-2007, 02:07 AM   #7 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Crash View Post
I believe he was referring to "pod thief's" who like to collect pods during/after a speed-ball game to make sure they have enough or extra. Also they tend to believe that if there laying around they are there for the taking, since most of the time they don't own any!!
Yes. When pods grow legs it is bad. Almost as bad as allen keys.
Communal pods is different than sharing with teammates or friends or whatnot. That's just cool stuff. That's like getting the youngest kid on the field into the game by providing cover fire, or helping someone with a broken cocker.

BTW, Rypper, you win with the comment about touching stuff other people's balls have been in. Nice!


And er, frequenting MCB. Yes. I do frequent it. That was a very nice way of putting it rather than rabidly internet stalking the forum since I have no life...

I'm sure Tal will write you back shortly. I'm on another time zone and still getting moved in tho I was out playing today on a sprained ankle. Lots of fun. Alaskans can play paintball!
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Old 06-17-2007, 02:15 AM   #8 (permalink)
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LOL He has been added for at least a day now just been to lazy to respond. Eventually I will have a real site up for NO'MAAM with the whole forums and every thing. Right now school and the family and getting the P.P.C. up and running takes priority. Well that and getting my Mag sent off the Rainman for a Pnuemag conversion.
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Old 06-17-2007, 04:54 AM   #9 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Crash View Post
I believe he was referring to "pod thief's" who like to collect pods during/after a speed-ball game to make sure they have enough or extra. Also they tend to believe that if there laying around they are there for the taking, since most of the time they don't own any!!
Oh, crap... my bad.. Sorry, I'm a bit of a noob when it comes to aggs...
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Old 06-18-2007, 06:39 PM   #10 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by pizzaluvr View Post
Oh, crap... my bad.. Sorry, I'm a bit of a noob when it comes to aggs...
No worries, that is a VERY good thing to be a noob towards.
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