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Bored383 08-21-2013 05:02 PM

the best boneheaded play you escaped from
Inspired by Lohman's 'are we really this good?' thread. So let's hear them - the best boneheaded dumbarse move/play/stunt you somehow managed to escape from unpainted. Or even the painted ones.

I once inadvertently bunkered what turned out to be about 8 players once - I was armed with a PG and a PGP. I was chasing down a couple of kids, hoping to get them to surrender when I came across the mass of regular walk ons all clustered together on a ramp of a castle

I asked them all to surrender, twice, before running away as fast as I possibly could. The looks on all their faces was pretty epic, it basically was "who the hell is this idiot waving a PISTOL at us?!?!"

the only upside to this comic tale is the fact that somehow no one managed to actually hit me with the metric sh!t ton of paint they sent after me as I sprinted about 15yds to the nearest hut. the ref who saw it all had a hard time calling me clean because he was laughing so hard.

Hawkeye20 08-21-2013 05:11 PM

I've, uh, overestimated the distance between me and the bad guys before. Suddenly I'd find myself WAY across the center of the field, with my nearest teammates WAY behind me. At about this time I'd notice all the opponents who are WAY too close for my comfort zone, especially when they don't know where I am, and I know that if I move an inch I'll be spotted by multiple people at once.

That, and I always play with a modified stock class pump and generally the opposition is using mechs or even electros. So I know I'm ****ed if they see me. Good times. :D

Arson24 08-21-2013 05:25 PM

Using my thumper (ya ya blah blah), I was stalking three kids and saw they entered a bunker. So I snuck up to a hole in the side of the building and cocked the marker back, lined up the shot, pulled the trigger....and pfft...nothing (go figure) so quickly re-cocked it and pulled the trigger again....nothing. Mean while, my I mean thumper is acting up 4 others show up in the same bunker.
Not knowing this I stand up and yell "surrender to the two that are in the bunker, surrender or I shoot" well two come walking out, still 5 sitting in there
so I pop around to the opening and stare at a wall of barrels pointing at me, still dont know how they did not hit me....but man did I turn it up to 11 getting out of there

heinous 08-21-2013 05:28 PM

i spearheaded a rush in a walk on game in old pendleton. as i run past the side of a sink hole i saw roughly 10 little kids lying prone in it, facing where i was preparing the rush, oblivious that i just breached around their vision. so i stood there rambo syle and rained down a hail of pain upon their backs with my cheap mech spyder.

then i got hit in the neck and called myself out. turns out further down a field, their mom was prone under a bush and sniped me with one hit.

guess she was watching out for her children... or was she using them as bait???

Runamok 08-21-2013 05:37 PM

My best bonehead moves never worked. I vividly recall being center point with a noob on both angles and I rushed a badly deflated home plate. I'm too big to hide behind a fully inflated bunker like that, so I started yelling for cover fire to get my dumb as.... out of there. Cross fire from 2 tourney players pinned my back up noobs down and I got no where to go, I can't even snap shoot. Needless to to say I died. The next game started in 15 mins.:clapping:

shibyman 08-21-2013 05:53 PM

Doing the card flip game in the Outlaws and Lawdogs Pump/pistol scneario at HDS(Bend OR). In the middle of the desert town the opposing player stood across the make shift table and we set our pistols down on either side of the deck of cards. We each flipped a card, waiting for an Ace to signal game start(behind each of us are our teams about 30 paces back). He flipped a card, but no ace and started messing with his glove, my turn to flip and its an Ace...i throw down the card, grab my pistol and shoot him in the chest..then I use the remaining 7 shots to shoot at his players lined up down the road as paint is flying both directions. I realize my clip is spent and a second later realize im still not hit! I scramble to a near by door way and then accross the road again to join the rest of my team. Got two more elimnations beyond the 2-3 I got off the start. Still can't believe I made it through a card flip without being shot all to hell.

Grider 08-21-2013 06:14 PM

Running around the edge of a field I wasn't familiar with, brush so thick I couldn't tell if anything was even close to me. About the time i start wondering if I'm still on the field or not, 2 or 3 balls hit really close to me. After I found none of them broke on me, they started opening up on me more. I was so surprised nothing hit me I dashing to cover Zoidberg style, woop-woop and all.

Stilgar 08-21-2013 06:29 PM

^. Yes! I did something similar!

Did not know there was a guy in the tall grass to my right as I used a building as cover. He opens up and missed me with about 10 shots as I danced around like a fool!

Keys_JR 08-21-2013 06:36 PM


Originally Posted by Stilgar (Post 2786274)
^. Yes! I did something similar!

Did not know there was a guy in the tall grass to my right as I used a building as cover. He opens up and missed me with about 10 shots as I danced around like a fool!

I did this to a guy once. He was hiding in a bunker trying to reload his stick feed and I opened up on him. I missed with 10 shots while he was dancing around like a fool then we both ran away to reload.

KungFuHampster11 08-21-2013 06:51 PM

Probably the most boss looking bunker attempt I've ever gone for. One kid behind a solid rock bunker in the woods, I'm playing with my SC Phantom. I take off running towards him and he comes up and starts slinging paint, somehow I manage to standing slide into a thick tree rather gently. I lean out to take a shot but have a couple teammates send a couple his way, so I take off running again. This rock is shaped like a ramp about 4 feet high his side and one foot my side, I run up the rock with too much momentum to slow down. This kid surrendered immediately when he saw me essentially flying over his bunker. Thing is he could have just shot me because I never cocked the marker, couldn't have bunkered him if I wanted!

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