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Old 12-04-2017, 09:06 AM   #1 (permalink)
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Paintball Oopsies & Ouchies

Inspired by the latest giveaway thread, and reliving my friends epic grenade toss, I thought a thread dedicated to Oopsies and Ouchies would be amusing.

I'm on a mission from God:
Years back, I'm guessing I'm probably 15ish at the time and my friends family has a hotel room for the weekend in Rhode Island. I wish I remembered where, I just know it was huge and looked over a big lit up bridge. Anyways, we were set to play paintball that weekend. I can't remember the field name, but it was massive. Also, run from a trailer. They offered massive games with respawn and a game they called football. Now football was essentially just center flag CTF. For those who don't know, this means both teams fight to grab a single flag, at the center of the field, and carry it safely to the opponents spawn. It was a pretty long, but narrow, field. The game started like any speed ball game would, fast. Fast forward, I'm sitting in back with a rental because my Autococker never worked correctly, and a guy comes back telling me he's out of paint. I throw him a charity pod, he proceeds to blast through it with his Spyder and looks at me with the intensity of 1000 sun's. "I'm going to do it. I'm going to put my gun down here and just run it," he exclaims! I figure most of there team is dead and there are only a few active shooters left, so I nod. He places his gun again the bunker and sprints. He looks like every epic movie scene where the guy is running through the jungle and bullets are whizzing by him. He gets to the flag! Holy ****, he's got the flag! And then... Disaster strikes.
Dude trips on a tree root, does an epic summersault, all while this other team realizes they can stop hiding. Well, 10 people had to pop up that no one knew was there and proceed to light this poor bastard up all while he in an uncontrollable, flip, barrel roll, Mctwist from hell.

He was out.

----------------

Man Down!:
I'm playing rec ball a few months ago at my local field. There is a guy there that is probably in his 40's. He brought his kid for the first time. Well, Dad and I start off running the same direction. This was a hyperball field, you know, the big plastic, black tubes? So, I'm about 40% up the field, just left of center and a tall stand up bunker.
This guy goes to make a move and, to put it gently, eats ****. Dude, just trips and hits the ground. So I'm shooting, I'm turning back, I'm shooting, he's not moving. I yell to him, he doesn't respond.. I'm covering him, I'm covering me, I'm checking left I'm checking right I'm looking back and this guy is just laid out where he landed.
I can't just go and help without getting shot a **** ton. So I'm trying my best to cover him. Eventually, I get shot out. Hand goes up and I run to the ref.
The ref calls the game and I'm like "there is a guy back there!" So he quickly corrects before anyone moves. So everyone is confused because no one sees this guy laying there. So I'm frantically trying to explain through our masks that the guy tripped and fell and didn't move the entire game. (It was only a few minutes). Finally the referee realizes the problem and ends the game officially and runs over to the guy.
I saw him after the game with an ice pack.

As he was running, he tripped and fell, only when he fell, his barrel did a nose dive into the ground and his collar bone came down with all his weight on the back of the gun.. at which point, in pain, he opted to just lay there and wait it out.

He did not play the rest of that day. His son did.
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Old 12-04-2017, 09:41 AM   #2 (permalink)
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Back some years the CFOA was doing the Dirty South Open at Windy Hill. The field was "just" at regulation size so the tapeline/net/netpoles were basically one in the same. Some of the poles actually "in" the field on that tape. My buddy had a beautiful Confederate Flag Ego. He's running tape pounding on some guys cross field when WHAM! Into the net pole he runs, full speed. Knocks him on his ***, bounced back a good five feet behind a bar style bunker. He takes a moment to gather himself, gets up and grabs the Ego. The frame is bent a solid 30+*, but the marker is still operational. He takes his crooked marker, corrects, shoots the other team out with it, gathers the flag and wins the game.

The Eclipse folks were good enough to give him a new frame right there, on site.
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Old 12-05-2017, 09:32 AM   #3 (permalink)
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This is a second hand story from my brother but it is the reasons I wore a cup when playing back in the 90's and why I plan to wear one when I finally get back out there again.

My brother was at his first rental with all noobs as him and about 20 or so buddies set up at a friends woods with a guy that did a mobile rental setup. One of the rules during the safety briefing was when shot to yell "Hit!", put your barrel plug in, hold your gun up and walk off the field yelling hit once in a while for good measure or risk getting shot again. Apparently some of the guys took this the wrong way from the shooters perspective. Now my brother and this younger kid were bunkered behind some thick brush and the kid says "I think they are all gone" and decides to make a run for it down a trail. One guy pops out of some trees and pegs him in the jewels. The kid drops in pain and can barely moan "hit" or move for that matter. Then the shooters two buddies join him and they proceed to light the kid up until they here him say hit.

So my brother always wore a cup after that and I always did after hearing this.
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Old 12-05-2017, 09:56 AM   #4 (permalink)
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Spent all day getting a misbehaving Shocker shooting. Ran out of air after four shots. Kicked a wood bunker. Ouch.
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Old 12-07-2017, 03:33 PM   #5 (permalink)
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Hogback Mountain Paintball in Virginia. This place has epic hills. During a big game a year or so ago I was running with a random bunch of guys down one of the steeper sides of the field. I get to the bottom and take cover to hear a loud groan and pounding leaves behind me. When I look back one of my team had slipped on his ***, rolled over his shoulder, and proceeded to half slide, half tumble a good 20 feet to the bottom of the hill. This all happened in super slow motion as this poor fellow was on the upper sides of 3xxl pant size.

He did make it to cover.
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Old 12-07-2017, 05:29 PM   #6 (permalink)
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The classic tale...

Second time playing at a real field around 1989 at Adventure Games in NH. Me and two buddies show up one weekend, but the owner and his staff were traveling for an away game, so the field was technically closed. But his wife was there and needs some help moving furniture around in the barn, so we graciously assist moving dressers and tables. In exchange, she provides us with three PGPs and a bag of paint and gives us free run of the 30 acre field for the day. We played one v. one v. one for most of the day and the highlight was playing in the now defunct Margaritaville village.

I'm camped out behind one building and buddy #1 comes around the corner of the adjacent hut about 20 feet on my right. He is completely oblivious to me on his left and is intent on tracking buddy #2 straight ahead. My first shot is dead on and buddy #1 looks like this...


















Buddy #1 crumples to the ground in slow motion groaning and buddy #2 jumps out of hiding about thirty feet ahead laughing hysterically.

Of course, I immediately turn to now exposed buddy #2 and one shot him to the junk too. Two shots, four balls. Good times, good times.
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Old 12-07-2017, 05:40 PM   #7 (permalink)
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Was playing a walk on game at Dothan Survival games years ago. We were only a few minutes into the game when I hear blood curdling screaming coming from the second floor of a building on my side. I rush up the ramp expecting to see an arm or other limb ripped off to find 2 young players. One of them had his finger pinched between the beavertail and bolt of the spyder he was shooting. I quickly removed the tank and pulled the trigger, freeing the trapped appendage. He didn't play the rest of the day.
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Old 12-07-2017, 07:37 PM   #8 (permalink)
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so far worst thats happend is playing air ball. Last game of the day. pre game on to the big bunker not sure of the names but not a can think its called an aztec. well anyways it fell over. i asked the ref if i made it to it could i push it along he said sure why not. so game starts full speed running i thought it would move if i hit it. nope hit it and bounced off got flat backed was the funniest thing ever got back up and tried to push it ended up rolling it in a half circle went from the bottom to the tiny top not the smartest move i got lit up was still totaly worth it.
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Old 12-07-2017, 11:08 PM   #9 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by RusskiX View Post
The classic tale...

Second time playing at a real field around 1989 at Adventure Games in NH. Me and two buddies show up one weekend, but the owner and his staff were traveling for an away game, so the field was technically closed. But his wife was there and needs some help moving furniture around in the barn, so we graciously assist moving dressers and tables. In exchange, she provides us with three PGPs and a bag of paint and gives us free run of the 30 acre field for the day. We played one v. one v. one for most of the day and the highlight was playing in the now defunct Margaritaville village.

I'm camped out behind one building and buddy #1 comes around the corner of the adjacent hut about 20 feet on my right. He is completely oblivious to me on his left and is intent on tracking buddy #2 straight ahead. My first shot is dead on and buddy #1 looks like this...

Buddy #1 crumples to the ground in slow motion groaning and buddy #2 jumps out of hiding about thirty feet ahead laughing hysterically.

Of course, I immediately turn to now exposed buddy #2 and one shot him to the junk too. Two shots, four balls. Good times, good times.
Great story, thanks for sharing.
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Old 12-08-2017, 10:04 AM   #10 (permalink)
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Final Battle at Canadian Carnage 3. You've got an entire big game's worth of people all moved into the center portion of the field. I've already dumped my remaining half case of paint towards the other team (1000 ball speed loader held onto my rotor streaming paint from my Ego7 on ramp).

Now it's time to try for the slapsticks along the middle. Commander grabs a group of us and throws about 3 smoke grenades. We all start running but are quickly engulfed in the smoke (couldn't even see my commander anymore who had been 2 strides ahead of me). Suddenly there's nothing under my next foot. Well at least I've found the trenches! Scramble up to the front, now I'm only 6 feet from the stick. Wait for a lessening of paint flying and make my move, leaping up out of the trench to slap that stick! Only my trailing toe caught the lip of the trench bringing me 1 inch short of pushing the stick from blue to red!

I landed on my stomach hard and realize that I am seeing the opposing team far too clearly. My mask actually popped down past my eyes just as everyone turns to fire at me! I don't think my hands have ever moved so fast as they did to pop my mask back into place!
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