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Old 12-21-2012, 12:19 PM   #11 (permalink)
.67cal Buwwets!
 
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So far it looks like the Apocalypse may equal a White Christmas here.

The apocalypse is pretty.
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Old 12-22-2012, 07:12 AM   #12 (permalink)
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guess its all over...back to work!
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Old 12-22-2012, 10:24 AM   #13 (permalink)
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Old 12-22-2012, 10:44 AM   #14 (permalink)
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The first item you find will be your starting weapon.
Damn... So I'm starting off with the small pair of scissors I use to trim facial hair? Not only are they less than 4 inches long, but they don't even have a sharp point on them! Stupid little rounded tip to keep you from jabbing yourself...
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Old 12-22-2012, 10:44 AM   #15 (permalink)
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Originally Posted by El Super Beasto View Post
Where have you been. Not in north america lately. Not in a school or a movie theatre at least. It was the end of the world for a lot of people this year.

Lets reflect on that and worry not about zombies, but armed sociopaths, pollution, war and all those things that are tangible in the here and now. Lest we go out with a whimper.
Let's get the corn cob out of our fourth points of contact and realize what this thread is about: mocking the whole "oh-god-og-god-the-world ends-on-December-12-because-of some-ancient-culture's-calendar-running-out" hoopla. For crying out loud, lighten up, stop pontificating, and stop dragging real targedies into what should otherwise be a light hearted thread!
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Old 12-22-2012, 10:46 AM   #16 (permalink)
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Originally Posted by MorueM View Post
Eh, I've got a towel..
You must be a real hoopy frood.

"A towel, it says, is about the most massively useful thing an interstellar hitchhiker can have. Partly it has great practical value - you can wrap it around you for warmth as you bound across the cold moons of Jaglan Beta; you can lie on it on the brilliant marble-sanded beaches of Santraginus V, inhaling the heady sea vapours; you can sleep under it beneath the stars which shine so redly on the desert world of Kakrafoon; use it to sail a mini raft down the slow heavy river Moth; wet it for use in hand-to- hand-combat; wrap it round your head to ward off noxious fumes or to avoid the gaze of the Ravenous Bugblatter Beast of Traal (a mindboggingly stupid animal, it assumes that if you can't see it, it can't see you - daft as a bush, but very ravenous); you can wave your towel in emergencies as a distress signal, and of course dry yourself off with it if it still seems to be clean enough.

More importantly, a towel has immense psychological value. For some reason, if a strag (strag: non-hitch hiker) discovers that a hitch hiker has his towel with him, he will automatically assume that he is also in possession of a toothbrush, face flannel, soap, tin of biscuits, flask, compass, map, ball of string, gnat spray, wet weather gear, space suit etc., etc. Furthermore, the strag will then happily lend the hitch hiker any of these or a dozen other items that the hitch hiker might accidentally have "lost". What the strag will think is that any man who can hitch the length and breadth of the galaxy, rough it, slum it, struggle against terrible odds, win through, and still knows where his towel is is clearly a man to be reckoned with."
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Old 12-22-2012, 04:28 PM   #17 (permalink)
that escalated quickly
 
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This was on The Late Show with David Letterman last night....

Top Ten Mayan Excuses

10. "Wait for it...wait for it..."

9. "Margin of error is plus-or-minus 5000 years"

8. "Mayan word for 'apocalypse' very similar to Mayan word for 'apple crisp'"

7. "Well, no apocalypse prediction -- no sweet, pre-apocalypse sex"

6. "Uh, leap year?"

5. "Intern hit 'Send' before double-checking"

4. "Didn't the world end when Justin Bieber and Selena Gomez broke up?"

3. "Apoca-whoops"

2. "Well, it was pretty cold and snowy there for a few minutes, so we were kind of right"

1. "Just trying to get out of Christmas with the in-laws"
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Old 12-22-2012, 04:31 PM   #18 (permalink)
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Eh, I've got a towel..
A large, three cushion, reclining, steel-framed couch.

****ing ****.
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How to deal with a girl who is more into you, than you are into her:
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What ever happened to the Hit-It-And-Quit-It answer? Knock the bottom out of that, let her know it's all physical for you and then bounce like a dropped baby.
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Old 12-22-2012, 04:32 PM   #19 (permalink)
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Originally Posted by Melvin View Post


I cannot wait to hear what he has to say next.
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Old 12-22-2012, 06:58 PM   #20 (permalink)
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hmm... still waiting...
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