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|12-22-2012, 10:44 AM||#14 (permalink)|
Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: PEI, Canada
|12-22-2012, 10:44 AM||#15 (permalink)|
To die for an idea; it is unquestionably noble. But how much nobler it would be if men died for ideas that were true?- H.L. Mencken
|12-22-2012, 10:46 AM||#16 (permalink)|
Join Date: Apr 2006
Location: SF Bay Area
"A towel, it says, is about the most massively useful thing an interstellar hitchhiker can have. Partly it has great practical value - you can wrap it around you for warmth as you bound across the cold moons of Jaglan Beta; you can lie on it on the brilliant marble-sanded beaches of Santraginus V, inhaling the heady sea vapours; you can sleep under it beneath the stars which shine so redly on the desert world of Kakrafoon; use it to sail a mini raft down the slow heavy river Moth; wet it for use in hand-to- hand-combat; wrap it round your head to ward off noxious fumes or to avoid the gaze of the Ravenous Bugblatter Beast of Traal (a mindboggingly stupid animal, it assumes that if you can't see it, it can't see you - daft as a bush, but very ravenous); you can wave your towel in emergencies as a distress signal, and of course dry yourself off with it if it still seems to be clean enough.
More importantly, a towel has immense psychological value. For some reason, if a strag (strag: non-hitch hiker) discovers that a hitch hiker has his towel with him, he will automatically assume that he is also in possession of a toothbrush, face flannel, soap, tin of biscuits, flask, compass, map, ball of string, gnat spray, wet weather gear, space suit etc., etc. Furthermore, the strag will then happily lend the hitch hiker any of these or a dozen other items that the hitch hiker might accidentally have "lost". What the strag will think is that any man who can hitch the length and breadth of the galaxy, rough it, slum it, struggle against terrible odds, win through, and still knows where his towel is is clearly a man to be reckoned with."
|12-22-2012, 04:28 PM||#17 (permalink)|
that escalated quickly
Join Date: Aug 2009
This was on The Late Show with David Letterman last night....
Top Ten Mayan Excuses
10. "Wait for it...wait for it..."
9. "Margin of error is plus-or-minus 5000 years"
8. "Mayan word for 'apocalypse' very similar to Mayan word for 'apple crisp'"
7. "Well, no apocalypse prediction -- no sweet, pre-apocalypse sex"
6. "Uh, leap year?"
5. "Intern hit 'Send' before double-checking"
4. "Didn't the world end when Justin Bieber and Selena Gomez broke up?"
2. "Well, it was pretty cold and snowy there for a few minutes, so we were kind of right"
1. "Just trying to get out of Christmas with the in-laws"
"Instead of trying to build newer and bigger weapons of destruction, we should be thinking about getting more use out of the ones we already have." [Deep Thoughts by Jack Handy]
"If I ever opened a trampoline store, I don't think I'd call it Trampo-Land, because you might think it was a store for tramps, which is not the impression we are trying to convey with our store. On the other hand, we would not prohibit tramps from browsing, or testing the trampolines, unless a tramp's gyrations seemed to be getting out of control" [Deep Thoughts by Jack Handy]
|12-22-2012, 04:31 PM||#18 (permalink)|
Predatory Bird Oculus
How to deal with a girl who is more into you, than you are into her:
|12-22-2012, 04:32 PM||#19 (permalink)|
Join Date: Dec 2011
I cannot wait to hear what he has to say next.