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Old 03-02-2013, 08:49 PM   #1 (permalink)
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Clubbing tips

Going clubbing for the first time tonight with some buddies of mine. Any tips for a newbie?
What I understand so far dress semi casual ( nice shoes button shirt etc.) , drink some but not too much and just be confident and do what you want but don't be a creep as in coming up behind girls and grinding on them.
Anything else or different I should do?
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Old 03-02-2013, 08:52 PM   #2 (permalink)
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I don't always tell people this, cause it's one of my secrets... but bouncers have a secret handshake (I used to bounce) One guy (the greeter, you) says 'Hi Five' and when the other guy puts his hand up, you cup his balls. He'll know whats up, and he will think it is funny.

Don't tell too many people ok, I trust you with this.
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Old 03-02-2013, 08:55 PM   #3 (permalink)
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one does not simply ask what to do when clubbing
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Old 03-02-2013, 08:55 PM   #4 (permalink)
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Get a firm, two handed grip on the club. Approach your suspect from behind so they don't see it coming and and swing the club over your head and bring it down with all your body on the top of their head. At this point they are either dead or have a major concussion so make sure to have medical staff on standby.
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Old 03-02-2013, 08:55 PM   #5 (permalink)
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So should I bend my knees and cup or just a casual grab ?
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Old 03-02-2013, 09:04 PM   #6 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Duybuin View Post
So should I bend my knees and cup or just a casual grab ?
bending at the knees is for ADVANCED CLUBBERS ONLY. DO NOT ATTEMPT.

If you are having eye contact with a girl, just walk over and say hi. FOr real. It is easy, it doesn't hurt, just straight up. Ask her if she needs another drink, if she likes puppies, whatever. Last time I went out with my friends there were two girls eyeing us, my friends were being a bunch of pussies, so I walked over to them and picked them up.

SOmetimes I will say (for true, although the content is not all true): "Hey, I'm Rob, single, well employed, I own a house, several cars and am totally disease free"
shock and laughter usually, has worked well.

Or, "Nice bum, where you from?" Which I just heard recently - try that one for me!
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Old 03-02-2013, 09:07 PM   #7 (permalink)
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Eat a good meal before you go! An empty stomach and alcohol is not a good mix.
Bring the basics like your phone, money, identification and keys, keep it light.
Make sure you have a designated driver.

Edit: And be yourself, no need to come off as something else then who you are if you want to make a lasting friendship or who knows maybe relationship.
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Old 03-02-2013, 09:07 PM   #8 (permalink)
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You want firm, but not too firm cup. You want to be confident, but don't crush them. I used to bounce as well, so Mar is right on with that.
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Old 03-02-2013, 09:11 PM   #9 (permalink)
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Originally Posted by Mar View Post
Or, "Nice bum, where you from?" Which I just heard recently - try that one for me!
Waterloo wanna screw?

No joke, somebody said that to me, until she found out I was 16 and she was 21.
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Old 03-02-2013, 10:04 PM   #10 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Toad View Post
Get a firm, two handed grip on the club. Approach your suspect from behind so they don't see it coming and and swing the club over your head and bring it down with all your body on the top of their head. At this point they are either dead or have a major concussion so make sure to have medical staff on standby.
Also keep in mind your surroundings. You will be hard pressed to find something more embarrassing than having taken the time to quietly sneak up behind someone in a dark area, but be outted by a loud ringing clang of you hitting a sign or pipe with the club and alerting your target.

And consider what style of club you are planning to use, and pick one suitable to the task. More specialized tools like a hakipik may be more useful and effective for your needs than a simple carved tree branch.
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