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Old 03-15-2013, 08:12 PM   #11 (permalink)
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Don't make me send my attack dolphins after you. We have Navy Dolphins that are trained to use knives and guns to attack enemy divers.
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Old 03-15-2013, 08:38 PM   #12 (permalink)
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has anyone here actually owned a niva before?
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Old 03-15-2013, 09:11 PM   #13 (permalink)
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has anyone here actually owned a niva before?
Driven not owned. My uncle loved his.
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Old 03-15-2013, 10:00 PM   #14 (permalink)
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Lots of people will talk ****, but I am from ukraine. The Niva is a beast. Its literally the communist wrangler. It will go through and drive through anything. My uncle uses it as his hunting vehicle. Most of the road infrastructure is nowhere near the US's or Canada's and these things are in their element. I doubt many people have had much encounter with them. They talk about how ****ty they are, yet I know old men with some from the 60's and 70's showroom condition with thousands of miles packed on them. They aren't fast or agile but they will mobilize you.
yo bro your name could be Lada Lada Niva III and these cars would still be ****. It's like a bus stop on wheels. Lada actually owns all the tow-trucks on Russia.

What's the difference between a Lada and a golf ball?

You can drive a golf ball 200 metres


What do you call a convertible Lada with twin exhausts?

A wheelbarrow

A man goes into a car accessory shop and says to the assistant, 'Can I have a hub cap for my Lada?'

The assistant thinks to himself for a moment and then replies, 'OK, it seems like a fair swap'

What do you call a Lada driver who says he has a speeding ticket?

A liar

A man buys a Lada but after only one day of ownership returns it to the garage.

'It's no good mate, the car's no good for me,' says the man to the car dealer.

'Why not?' asks the car dealer.

'Do you see that steep hill over there?' says the man, pointing. 'Well it will only get up to 75 up there'.

'That's not bad really sir, especially for a Lada. I can't see a problem with that'.

'Trouble is,' said the man, 'I live at 95'


How do two Lada drivers recognise each other?

It's easy... They already met at the garage this morning
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Old 03-15-2013, 10:23 PM   #15 (permalink)
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Originally Posted by Side-Swipe View Post
Don't make me send my attack dolphins after you. We have Navy Dolphins that are trained to use knives and guns to attack enemy divers.
Meh, I'm Japanese. We eat dolphins for lunch.
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Old 03-15-2013, 10:29 PM   #16 (permalink)
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hey Side-Swipe, what part of Ukraine are you from? I got a good friend from Odessa and a coworker from near the Carpathians

and as an aside - my Dad actually made a living for some time doing Pysanky. long story
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Old 03-16-2013, 01:55 AM   #17 (permalink)
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Ladas are Russian Fiats. The Niva was ahead of it's time(in the '80s) with independent coil spring suspension when American trucks had leafs and solid axles. They really are good offroaders in east coast forest trails.

But

A buddy of mine had one. He was a heavy cigarette smoker. I could always smell gas in his Niva. It turns out the top of the fuel tank is the floor of the bed... really scary. I don't care how cheap, offroad worthy and easy to repair a Niva is. I don't want to go out in a ball of flame.
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Old 03-16-2013, 07:16 AM   #18 (permalink)
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hey Side-Swipe, what part of Ukraine are you from? I got a good friend from Odessa and a coworker from near the Carpathians

and as an aside - my Dad actually made a living for some time doing Pysanky. long story
Your dad must have some skill. I am from Ivano-frankivsk the city not the area.
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