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Old 04-19-2014, 07:33 PM   #51 (permalink)
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Old 04-19-2014, 09:57 PM   #52 (permalink)
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why in hell would a bullying victim, in a bullying victim's mindset, ever want to do something that helps the bully in any way? you're only going to convince the victim that it's better to take matters in his own hands.
Shouldn't the end of the bullying be the ultimate goal? Not to mention, the victim doesn't know/see the final outcome, they just get the benefit of the bullying coming to an end.
As someone who endured it for years, if I could have shortened my torment by just one day, I'd be a better person.
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Old 04-20-2014, 02:45 AM   #53 (permalink)
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i was the biggest kid in private grammar school (sent there because the public school thought i was on the spectrum because i "didnt get along with the other kids"), was by a good margin the poorest, loved reading, and never really bothered wasting time finding ways to insult people. And i guess my nature of internalizing my feeling and anger made me the best kind of punching bag. Just about everyone in the school harassed me for years. from 2nd through 7th grades, i was what every other person turned to to make themselves feel better about themselves.

about halfway through 7th grade the got it into their heads that running up to me and knocking me over and kicking me was a "fun" thing to do. after about three weeks of that, constantly telling the vice principal, and my teachers what was going on, and my parents believing the principals when they said it wasnt happening, i had had about all i could take.

i ended up with the police in the school wondering why two kids had been sent to the hospital. the recess coordinator had my back and explained that the two had tripped me into a bench, and i had cut my head open. (one stood in front of me and acted like he was going to hit me while the other one kneeled behind me. then the one in front pushed me into the bench) I was bleeding, and proceeded to pick up the smallest one and hit the other one with him. I didnt think about it, i just did it. I had completely lost control.
All i really remember is i stopped seeing them as a person. All they were was somthing that needed to be destroyed. completely and utterly.

that being said i was never bothered by them or anyone else at the school again.

Those years never leave you though. To this day I am severely uncomfortable with being touched. Even a pat on the back has me ready to take a hit. I will NEVER sit with my back to any form of an open space ever. I wont be the first through a door if i'm in a group. I always hold the door until the doorway is clear before i move through(that way noone can kick me in the achillies as ahrd as possible). There are other "quirks" that i trace back to those days. I know they are mostly just paranoia, but they are so deeply ingrained that i catch myself doing them without thinking.

In the end i guess the sum of our experiences make us who we are, but getting past the bulk of that crap has taken some serious time.

Be careful what you do to others, because it will sit with them and you for the rest of your lives.
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Old 04-20-2014, 05:02 PM   #54 (permalink)
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Be careful what you do to others, because it will sit with them and you for the rest of your lives.
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Old 04-21-2014, 09:23 AM   #55 (permalink)
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Hell, even if you lose a fight to a bully chances are they won't mess with you anymore, they just want someone to pick on who won't fight back.

I agree with this a lot.
I was always very short, I only made it to 5'5" LOL! Bullies (that didn't know me) often targeted me in school. I'm much stronger then I look and back then was in several martial arts. I strongly believe in avoiding fights when you can. Bullies usually have incredibly low self esteem, if I knew 100% that I could take them I'd actually goad them into into hitting me (never gave the first punch). I remember one big guy that hit me in the face as hard as he could but I was so fast little energy transferred to me. I stayed on my feet and laughed at him, it was in the lunch room, every one now viewed him as weak, he ran off ashamed. Others weren't so lucky, almost everyone was significantly larger than me so I strongly believed in inflicting max pain as fast as I could, kick low and punch high. My targets wee feet, ankles, shins, knees, neck, and face LOL!

A note on losing a fight with a bully. If you lose a fight you can't give t to them, they have to really earn it, you must resist to the last. This is usually hard work and to risky for a bully. They generally respect you after that. Rarely had a problem with a guy I got into a fight with. After that we were usually on friendly terms.

If you never face your problems head on they will never go away.
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Old 06-06-2014, 10:39 AM   #56 (permalink)
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Old 06-06-2014, 04:59 PM   #57 (permalink)
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Enough violence solves everything . . . eventually.
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