General

[Moosepatrol]

The posts here show why I could never do the job in a medical, law enforcement, firemen etc. You guys have one of the toughest out there. You may not have the most physically punishing but having to deal with the mental stress of seeing people injured in horrific ways, I just couldn't do that. My hat off to all the men and women who do these jobs and Noxx I hope you get past this quickly, no one should have to think about those circumstances.

[PDJ]

I've been in the same situation (or very similar) myself, being a hand surgeon (via the orthopaedic surgeon not plastic surgery route). You get bad calls. One even makes bad decisions. Sometimes people are plain stupid.

The number of damaged families due to crass ignorance (e.g. fitting the wrong kind of cutting tool in a high speed machine, etc) will never cease to impress me. Fingers, hands, feet, eyes, and lastly lives, young and old... It's ****ty. Leaves you with a bad taste in the mouth, and gnaws at you. You must let it go... No stressing out is ever going to change what has happened, but you can change the future for self and yr direct area of influence (even online community ) If you can't get it out of yr head, seek for help. Yr job should help you.

The lack of response from your kid? May I suggest a book I've found interesting as it shifts the blame paradigm? (It's basic premise is you are not responsible for yr kids but to them) It's called ScreamFree Parenting (IIRC) and is free online (Googlebooks).

Keep yr head up and straight and luck w/ yr daughter
Peter

[heinous]

Originally Posted by PDJ

The lack of response from your kid?

i am going to risk being a post whore here to talk to the OP.

on the rare occasions that my dad did give advice, I usually lack response also, but that's because it's things that I already know (like him telling me smoking is bad, when he's smoked in my whole life and i already have no intentions of trying it).

so yeah, if you look at it that way, lack of response is not always a bad thing.

and i forgot to say, thanks for doing your job

[Crash]

Hang in there! Just remember for every bad call there tend to be many more good, you just have to focus on the positive. You can't dwell on things like this as I'm sure you did everything in your power to change the outcome. Believe in yourself! Instead focus on the ones you helped and think of the joy you were able to give them and their families by keeping them from ending up like this poor girl. As for the root cause of the accident we will never know what was going through her mind, whether it was just a dumb mistake or if there was something else going on......it's a moot point now! Learn, share and teach and it at least will not be in vain.
As for your concern about the lack of reaction from your daughter I wouldn't worry. Something I have learned about kids in the last 20 something years of having them is they absorb more than you think sometimes and no matter how much you try to keep them from making mistakes they still do, it's just a fact of life, it's how we learn. As for the person that posted the comment about taking your daughter to the morgue....that sometimes works for teens but I believe it would traumatize a younger child and since Noxx is only 25 or so I doubt he has teens yet!

PS if you feel like talking you have my number!

[Hatchet]

Sorry to hear that, Noxx. I'm not a paramedic, but I work on the river. People do unintelligent things in pleasure crafts and innocents end up dead. It's never an easy situation to deal with, and I feel for you. Don't let it get to you too much; talk to the guys at work about it.

All the best,

Hatchet

[Walking_Target]

Sorry to hear that didn't go better for you or the family involved.

It doesn't shock me either though, teens do stupid things and kids never listen; You can only hope you'll make the difference to one.

I just count my lucky stars that i've never had to deal with a medical emergency of that magnitude yet.

[noxx55]

Originally Posted by heinous

i am going to risk being a post whore here to talk to the OP.

on the rare occasions that my dad did give advice, I usually lack response also, but that's because it's things that I already know (like him telling me smoking is bad, when he's smoked in my whole life and i already have no intentions of trying it).

so yeah, if you look at it that way, lack of response is not always a bad thing.

and i forgot to say, thanks for doing your job

I really hope that is the case heinous. I couldn't imagine being in those parents shoes.

I feel much better after yesterday's weilding of my Nasty Super Stocker. Paintball is a nice release.

[RealtorTommy]

I've seen many things like this over the years, friends, family and strangers. I've pulled people out of a burning house, helped with crash victims and just stupid things that happen...Once I experianced/saw a very bad golf cart accident where a woman died from a tire rolling over her head...so stupid freak **** happens. The only way I can deal with it is that it happens for a reason. I don't try to find out what the reason is, I tried at first. I chalk it up as it's their time to go no matter the age. But you Noxx have hit a point that every one in medical field is exposed to and this was the "one". It shows that you are a caring human being...This is great. Work it out in your own way. If you can't shake it off get some help...

[Moose]

I spent 10 years working in EMS. I know where you are coming from.

It was the senseless/meaningless deaths of kids/teenagers that always got to me the worst.

Focus on the fact that you took a really messed up patient and stabilized her to the point that she was still alive when she made it to the ER. You did your best and that is all anyone can ask of you.

If it is really bothering you, talk to your CISD team at your department. Do not let it build up.

Keep in mind that you cannot cure and/or treat stupidity.

[Jaan]

Originally Posted by heinous

you know what, i don't feel bad for that girl at all, she lacked common sense.

You know what? You have no idea what really happened. She could have tripped, she could have panicked...girls are like that. You can't just dismiss her entire life because of a split second.

Originally Posted by shifty

I am waiting for the other shoe to drop, the one that blames the parents for not letting the kid do what she wanted.

When I read this I immediately thought of my own childhood...my parents were strict guilty Catholics. It seemed like they liked to say no for the sake of saying no. I mean things like sleeping over your best friends house or going with his parents bowling during the day. I HAD to lie to my parents and sneek around behind thier backs if I wanted to have any fun at all. I'm not blaming the parents, but sometimes things arn't all that black and white.