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Old 11-12-2006, 10:21 AM   #1 (permalink)
Red - Black
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Join Date: May 2006

Listessa got me in trouble...

So - I noticed in Listessa's signature that she has something about an orginization against Agg Metrosexuals. I thought that was hilarious - so I posted on a local board the following post. All tongue in cheek - but as all satire goes - trying to hit the truth:


I have started my own organization "Players Against Agg Metrosexuals".

Because paintball has become, for many players, more about wearing the right print, drumming the trigger, buying the right goggle strap, or keeping up with the latest fashion in guns (bands over the eye covers or LV hopper patterns) I have decided to take action.

P.A.A.M will attempt to stop all attempts at Agg-ness and metrosexual obsessions with fashion in a sport that is about aggression.

However, because we do not want to traumatize people who are agg or metrosexual by blasting them in the grill - PAAM members will hand out open handed style slaps (aka ***** slaps) for any person doing the following:

1) Having a bracelet over their eye covers when your eye cover screws work just fine.
2) Having two RARE goggle straps on.
3) Having a sweat band for a second goggle strap.
4) Holding their elbow out like a chicken wing while they fake snap shoot in the neutral zone. (We are willing to come to your house and give you two slaps and/or a wedgie if you are at home doing it in the mirror or on a video tape.)
5) Having any fashion pattern that you have adapted to paintball. Burberry bandannas might get you a double slap.
6) Gelling your hair so that you can come play.
7) Gelling your hair so that you can come and sit in the neutral zone and drum your trigger (this is certainly a double slap offense and might constitute a wedgie if you drum the trigger with air on your marker).
8) Paint, cut, or modify your goggles in the attempt to look cool. Put the scissors and Krylon down!
9) Take off a perfectly good rip drive and make one out of a soda bottle top because you think Ghetto is cool. Even though your mom bought all your stuff to begin with.
10) Play recball with a ramping gun or in PSP mode. This will get you a slap with a camouflage glove to ensure you know just how the recballer rolls.

This list is not inclusive and can be amended or changed at any time. Agg metrosexuals are hereby on notice.

If you would like to join - simply enforce these rules and put - Player Against Agg Metrosexuals - in your sig. However, if we see you break any of these rules - it is a double slap wedgie violation that will result in removal from the orginization.



Many thought it was funny and they commented about who violated the rules and how some of them deserved a slapping. SO - and here is the mistake - I posted in the Pump Forum of PBN.

HOLY COW! They did NOT think that was funny. Four posts later I was getting hate PM's and I had been reported to the mods. Normally I would just laugh and let them get angry - but I was attempting to be funny and they were REALLY mad. I deleted the thread QUICKLY!

I am sure it was too close to home. Wow...

(I am sure that many of these you guys will not recognize - but trust me - I see it EVERY weekend)

Pumpenstein - NSA National Champions

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Old 11-12-2006, 10:27 AM   #2 (permalink)
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Sign me up!!! I want member number 002!
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Old 11-12-2006, 12:03 PM   #3 (permalink)
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Hell that sounds good to me sign me up too!
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Old 11-12-2006, 12:19 PM   #4 (permalink)
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That was funny. I agree.

PBN blows. A guy I bought a Epic from got banned for a few days because he posted a for sale thread in the dead ghost town "ICE Epic" section. Trolls found it and reported it.
Dabbling in the recreational paintball arts since 1991.
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Old 11-12-2006, 12:34 PM   #5 (permalink)
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Looks like they Deleted it, but they kept this one
Originally Posted by oldschool View Post
you'll do anything for *****.....
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Old 11-12-2006, 01:45 PM   #6 (permalink)
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That's funny! Too bad they don't have a sense of humor. Maybe you hit too close to home for the "I'm a Pumper 'cause it rockz and is agg now" crowd.

Originally Posted by Uranus View Post
Looks like they Deleted it, but they kept this one
On one hand I feel for the original poster, asking in order to learn. On the other hand, DUH!!

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Old 11-12-2006, 01:54 PM   #7 (permalink)
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I feel stupider now for visiting PBN. Seems like every time I'm there I feel dirty.
"There's nary a beast that can outrun a greased-up scotsman!" - Willie

"What makes a VM so charming is that you can chop down small trees with it" - Jaan
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Old 11-12-2006, 02:06 PM   #8 (permalink)
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I'd like to be the minister of discipline sign me up please.
Originally Posted by Azzy;

I think we are being hit by a tsunami of stupidity.
Paintball is a game of honor, play it that way!

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Old 11-12-2006, 02:26 PM   #9 (permalink)
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If you read the terms of use of PBN carefully, you will notice you sign away your sense of humor while visting that site.

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Old 11-12-2006, 02:29 PM   #10 (permalink)
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The pump forum on PBN has gone quickly downhill. It used to be full of helpful people ready to help new pumpers and discuss pump guns. Now it is just as crappy as the rest of pbn, replete with flaming, agg'ness, etc. I find myself going there less and less often.
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