How Carters Commando was formed

jincay · 01-16-2008, 12:58 PM

Well not many know it but many were curious so I have collected the shared legend of CC.

Many years ago... M.Carter Brown was born, a poor black child he was beaten and raped by a pack of traveling rabid lawyers. Beating them off with a Vector (that was given to him by Velcor) Later he tooketh this Vector and he burnt it on the holy altar of truth, thus creating the legend. A legend forged in the orangey-red flames and tempered in a trough of beer.

When his truck was carried away during the Great NH Flood,he was found clinging to the wreckage of a Cyber9000 that had allowed him to float to safety. He was washed upon the shores of Sheridan and plated himself in nickel for protection. Protection from the tyrannical clutches of the one-legged flying seagulls, who were all screaming "Mine! Mine! Mine".

Then he suddenly noticed a keg of Yeingling beer was floating nearby, surrounded by a bunch of drunken nuns, who offered him the holy grail,(and a spanking). Only if he would return the favor by cutting down a great oak with a herring. Using the oak Carter built a great bunkhouse....with a really nice hot tub and a HUGE...Kegerator. From which the giant co2 tanks both carbonated their beer and kept the Alaskan king crab legs cold.

After he defeated the unwashed masses at the castle walls he bought some rusty, mistreated KP2s on eBay. Which he completely stripped, rebuilt sawed off the barrels with hacksaws. He did this so they could be fitted with loudeners to deafen the 'agglets' with the thunder of their report. Forcing them to scamper behind the cover of their inflatable rabbits.

The rabbit were supposed to be brought inside the castle but since they were of the killer variety, they were unleashed upon the guy who bought genessee instead of guiness. So he may never forget the error of his ways. Thus the little "agglet" fell into Velcor's disfavor and was forever known as...Pod Bitch.

That is how Carters Commando was formed.

I knew beer,drunken nuns, rabbits and spanking was involved

Fireball · 01-16-2008, 01:09 PM

Is this thread drunk?

Raion · 01-16-2008, 01:10 PM

drugs are bad

greenmtnphantom · 01-16-2008, 01:13 PM

Sticky worthy!

oldschool · 01-16-2008, 01:14 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Raion

drugs are bad

m'kay

MaD · 01-16-2008, 01:22 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by jincay

. Forcing them to scamper behind the cover of their inflatable rabbits.

lol... priceless...

Tallen702 · 01-16-2008, 01:49 PM

Am I the only one who had visions of this while reading this?

Cunha · 01-16-2008, 01:56 PM

Am I the only one who has visions of this while reading?

big jim · 01-16-2008, 02:22 PM

Actually it was more along the lines of the holy grail.

Tallen702 · 01-16-2008, 02:37 PM

Well, yes, I mean obviously, but for some reason all I could think of when he burned the vector given to him by Velcor, and the forging and fire and tempering.... well.... I just envisioned Carter looking up to the sky and saying "Velcor" much like Ah-nold saying "Crom" in Conan the Barbarian.

01-16-2008, 12:58 PM	#1 (permalink)
jincay Distruster of Joggers Join Date: Mar 2006 Location: 5,280 Paul Simon's north of the white house	How Carters Commando was formed Well not many know it but many were curious so I have collected the shared legend of CC. Many years ago... M.Carter Brown was born, a poor black child he was beaten and raped by a pack of traveling rabid lawyers. Beating them off with a Vector (that was given to him by Velcor) Later he tooketh this Vector and he burnt it on the holy altar of truth, thus creating the legend. A legend forged in the orangey-red flames and tempered in a trough of beer. When his truck was carried away during the Great NH Flood,he was found clinging to the wreckage of a Cyber9000 that had allowed him to float to safety. He was washed upon the shores of Sheridan and plated himself in nickel for protection. Protection from the tyrannical clutches of the one-legged flying seagulls, who were all screaming "Mine! Mine! Mine". Then he suddenly noticed a keg of Yeingling beer was floating nearby, surrounded by a bunch of drunken nuns, who offered him the holy grail,(and a spanking). Only if he would return the favor by cutting down a great oak with a herring. Using the oak Carter built a great bunkhouse....with a really nice hot tub and a HUGE...Kegerator. From which the giant co2 tanks both carbonated their beer and kept the Alaskan king crab legs cold. After he defeated the unwashed masses at the castle walls he bought some rusty, mistreated KP2s on eBay. Which he completely stripped, rebuilt sawed off the barrels with hacksaws. He did this so they could be fitted with loudeners to deafen the 'agglets' with the thunder of their report. Forcing them to scamper behind the cover of their inflatable rabbits. The rabbit were supposed to be brought inside the castle but since they were of the killer variety, they were unleashed upon the guy who bought genessee instead of guiness. So he may never forget the error of his ways. Thus the little "agglet" fell into Velcor's disfavor and was forever known as...Pod Bitch. That is how Carters Commando was formed. I knew beer,drunken nuns, rabbits and spanking was involved __________________ "Dont worry the dimples will pop out when the weather warms up" A well known paintball producer responding to complaints about the paintballs he just sold having the same shape as the death star.

01-16-2008, 01:49 PM	#7 (permalink)
Tallen702 Seasoned Member Join Date: Jan 2007 Location: Washington, DC	Am I the only one who had visions of this while reading this? __________________ MCB Feedback Ebay Feedback

01-16-2008, 02:37 PM	#10 (permalink)
Tallen702 Seasoned Member Join Date: Jan 2007 Location: Washington, DC	Well, yes, I mean obviously, but for some reason all I could think of when he burned the vector given to him by Velcor, and the forging and fire and tempering.... well.... I just envisioned Carter looking up to the sky and saying "Velcor" much like Ah-nold saying "Crom" in Conan the Barbarian. __________________ MCB Feedback Ebay Feedback

01-16-2008, 01:09 PM	#2 (permalink)
Fireball Active Member Join Date: Sep 2006	Is this thread drunk?

01-16-2008, 01:10 PM	#3 (permalink)
Raion Official PBN Translator Join Date: Jan 2007	drugs are bad

01-16-2008, 01:56 PM	#8 (permalink)
Cunha MCB Member Join Date: Apr 2006 Location: Monterey, CA	Am I the only one who has visions of this while reading?