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Old 08-14-2007, 08:04 PM   #11 (permalink)
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Here ya go, Carpie!



This pic was taken by one of my college roommates...I don't have anything more recent because my wife ran off with the camera. It's mostly articulated at all the major joints, but is hard to bend over or sit down in. It does, however, have a hole in the visor for smoking. It's really hot to wear, especially since you have to wear a thick shirt or the corners of the cans and the points of the staples will cut you. As for using staples to hold it together...cut me some slack - I had to use what (free) resources I could find in my dorm, and it was all done at 4 a.m. in a Dew-induced delirium!
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Old 08-14-2007, 08:09 PM   #12 (permalink)
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I also wrote this about the same time I was building the suit:

Mountain Dew: Nectar of the Gods or Devil’s Tool?

Carbonated water, high fructose corn syrup and/or sugar, concentrated orange juice and other natural flavors, citric acid, sodium benzoate (preserves freshness), caffeine, sodium citrate, gum arabic, erythorbic acid (preserves freshness), calcium disodium EDTA (to protect flavor), brominated vegetable oil, and Yellow #5.

With ingredients like these, how can there be any question? This liquid ambrosia, with a solid, hard-core base in caffeine and several sugars, can have no equal. Just find out for yourself - let the smooth, sweet flavor roll across your tongue and down your parched throat. Feel the energy flow into your body. It’s like nothing else you can experience - life from listlessness. Sure, other substances can instill the same sense of power, but they can be a bitter pill to swallow...literally. Substitutes like Vivarin and even Jolt function adequately, but lack the flavor, the pleasure, the Soul of the Dew. There is no enjoyment in them, whereas Dew is suitable as a purely recreational refreshment. You can drink it when you already have plenty of energy with no ill effects - there is no “Do not exceed X amount in 24 hours” warning. With skill and experience, you can even reach a serene, spiritual peace through this heavenly refreshment, unequaled by sleep or other forms of relaxation. Indeed, with the proper mindset, Dew can have a range of effects, from pure hyper-activity to a focused determination to mellow (never to be confused with the sacrilegious “Mello” of Mello Yello) contentedness.

Even before consumption, the benefits of Dew are apparent. The bright yellow color offers a cheery aura to everything around it, unlike the dismal browns and featureless clear shades of most other drinks. Thus, even the appearance of a bottle or can of the holy substance can improve the viewer’s outlook on life. Indeed, the mere promise of a sip of this mystical elixir can be enough to keep many loyal drinkers happy and productive. It can also invigorate individuals and motivate them to acts of greatness, as evidenced by the sky-diving, snow-boarding, martial-arts antics portrayed in the Dew advertisements. Everyone who truly appreciates this wonderful drink hopes someday to emulate these feats, or at least does not fear them. Mountain Dew is a truly great substance.

Those who would claim that Mountain Dew is a creation of the Beast live in fear and ignorance of what they cannot understand. “It shrinks your testicles! It lowers your sperm count!” they cry. Whatever. Completely untrue. When asked his opinion on this popular myth, one championship Dew drinker gave his theory:

“I’ve had more Dew than most people see in their entire lives, and I’m a respectable size. This leads me to one of two conclusions: A) I would be so enormous that I couldn’t move if the huge amounts of Dew I drink didn’t shrink me down or B) Dew has no effect on genitalia. Now do you want to believe I would have had a shlong the size of a Buick or that Dew is harmless? I thought so.”

Our source also added that, while impressive, a Buick-sized shlong is not desirable.

However, the Dew-Detractors need no help in destroying their case from this publication. Their own tenants destroy their credibility. If Mountain Dew is the tool of the Devil, and it shrinks tools, then the Devil would have an unlimited supply, which would shrink his tool to nothing, meaning he would have no tool, meaning Mountain Dew could not be his tool, since his tool would not exist, but Mountain Dew DOES exist. By following this simple logic, those who persecute Dew defeat themselves. This is not meant to be interpreted to mean that Dew does shrink nads, just that the people who wrongly believe that it does have faulty logic and therefore should be dismissed without a second thought.

The only evil that could be linked to Dew is the fact that it disappears so rapidly, and even this is not a direct characteristic of the beverage. Only its wholesome, tasty goodness causes loyal drinkers to consume it so quickly. And, unlike other popular beverages, it has no ill effects from excessive consumption (heck - there is no such thing as excessive consumption of Dew). There is no vomiting, no headaches, no Buick accidents, or anything else associated with drinking Dew. Best of all, it is legal and appropriate for all ages, so everyone can enjoy it without fear of retribution. So go ahead and bust out a can, or whatever your favorite sized container is, and have a blast.
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Old 08-14-2007, 10:14 PM   #13 (permalink)
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So, what kind of grade did you get?
Is you coming to this game?
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Old 08-20-2007, 09:19 AM   #14 (permalink)
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I'm going to have to patch up the armor a bit, but not only will I be at the game, I've volunteered to General for the UnColas.
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Old 08-20-2007, 10:01 PM   #15 (permalink)
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Yeah-hoo! Yellow is the Un-cola General.
Let's raise our glasses of Moutain Dew (or the true un-cola, 7UP)
in his honor and go forth and defeat the Cola Horde heretics! And then onward to Atlanta!
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A KL is like a samurai sword and should reflect the soul of the owner.
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Old 08-20-2007, 10:15 PM   #16 (permalink)
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For which side are the Mellow Yellow fans supposed to play?

For my money, Mountain Dew is just watered down Mellow Yellow with a new and mostly homoerotic name.

D.
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I still don't get that.
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Old 08-20-2007, 10:22 PM   #17 (permalink)
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THAT"S IT!!! NO TOUCHING THE NEW LEVER ACTION FOR YOU!!!

Dammit! Look what you made me do! I wasn't going to mention that yet. Sonofa...
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Old 08-21-2007, 10:20 PM   #18 (permalink)
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For my money, Mountain Dew is just watered down Mellow Yellow with a new and mostly homoerotic name.

D.
Don't know about that. I remember a joke from the 70's that went,
"What do you call the sweat on Dolly Parton's breasts? Mountain Dew" hahahahahaha
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The world is full of kings and queens, who blind your eyes and steal your dreams. It's Heaven and Hell. -Ronnie James Dio
Born to Lose, Live to Win -Lemmy Kilmister
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A KL is like a samurai sword and should reflect the soul of the owner.
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Old 08-22-2007, 07:23 AM   #19 (permalink)
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Think again...

Simply add the letters "des" to the end of that name and you have a lifestyle choice for gay cowboys.

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I still don't get that.
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Old 08-22-2007, 03:54 PM   #20 (permalink)
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Barring any sort of unforeseen scheduling conflict, I'll be there.
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