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War cries of the Paladin

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    War cries of the Paladin

    So a friend of mine is starting a Pathfinder game. Laid back, not overly serious. I've played too many rogues lately, time to switch it up. Full on Lawful Stupid Paladin seems to be the way to go. And in battle you need a proper quip or two (or twenty) for when you smite your heathen foes.

    So to get things started I robbed a bunch of lines from the Paladin character from The Gamers: Dorkness Rising.

    Show yourself, villain! Thou can not escape my justice!
    Come forward so that I may smite thy with my mighty blade!
    The truth shall descend upon thy wickedness as an angel of righteous fury!
    Thou shall die a thousand deaths shadow spawn!
    I shall lay down my justice upon thy lonesome brow.
    I shall spread the buttery justice of Therin over the toast of your iniquity!
    The succulent jam of light shall sweeten the sourdough of your evil ways!
    The creamer of light will dull the bitterness of your evil, unholy coffee taste!
    The spatula of purity shall scramble the eggs of your malfeasance!

    So. Need more. Lots more. Anyone have any good ones?