Update: Because the velocity adjustment screw doesn't actually back out when you "loosen" it, I thought I had it turned it all the up. This morning, I turned it about 7 rotations out and now have a gun that fires somewhere in the reasonable range, albeit very inconsistently.
My hand-chrono has a dead battery so I can't be sure, but it's definitely firing fast enough to hurt now. Unfortunately, occasional balls will be going way too fast and others will be way too slow. I'm assuming that this is just because I need to fine tune the reg and LPR to work in better concert. I don't have a gauge on the gun so I haven't a clue what the pressure is right now. I'm going to go buy one and see if I can get it ripping. When it's working, she does shoot ropes...when it's working. I'm just not at a point in my life where I want to fiddle with my marker for fun anymore.
Anyway, thanks for getting me started guys. You've made a HUGE difference!
Side note for all you who were fawning over her, look for her in the sale thread in the next few weeks. It is in great shape with under 13,000 shots.