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thumper 11-02-2009 05:19 AM

Ode to the bunker...
Ode to the bunker...

I look at a bunker through funny rose colored glasses. At a distance it looks like good cover - even inviting at first glance. After a moments reflection, the bunker oddly changes appearance - morphing into a small confined space, with limited angles, mobility and options. Mr. Death awaits all who taste it's fruit. It seems so obvious a target, that I have to wonder as to its utility. I do so despise them, you know.. they blight the landscape and plague my mind.. What to do, ...oh, what to do?...

(aging paintball lays back on couch - tense, off balance)

"Doctors, can you help me?"

onecaribou 11-02-2009 10:38 AM

Her siren song continues long after you've stopped playing with noobs and renters.. she calls to you and whispers "safety, cover, security" ... you enter.

All for naught, as you realize you have been shot in the ***. ;)

Timmycuddler 11-02-2009 01:52 PM


thumper 11-02-2009 05:32 PM

.. I too chortle at the man in the mirror .. but soon despair, as I know the burden is mine alone to bear. It haunts me, you see. Mr. Death dances in delight.

Cook 11-02-2009 05:42 PM

You run to her, as she yells and screams for your presence.

Tugboater203 11-02-2009 06:16 PM

I like it! Do you mind if I post it on my fields page?

I took the liberty here if you want it down LMK and I'll take it down.

thumper 11-05-2009 06:29 AM

Doctor Drew : "But seriously. Most veteran players understand that bunkers are more for working around* not in or behind. Wilson understands this well. He often stands very far back from a bunker- not being constrained by it- but still being protected. Wilson is great at scooting up to a good bunker and playing it effectively, he knows when to hold 'em and when to fold 'em.

I, for one, am utterly useless at playing bunkers. I prefer the ninja-fu of standing out in the open. Trickery, cunning, and stupidity are what have served me best in the past. If I get in a bunker- I'm almost certainly toast. (big, slow and clunky). However, Put me on top of or behind a hay bail and then; then, I feel invincible.

Lets talk about working bunkers. Is that an itch I feel?"

aging paintballer : "ah.. finally a doctor answers the 911. I thought I was gonna bleed out, and die right here on this freaking couch.!!!"
(doctor slips in and casually produces a shiny gold coin - spinning lazily in a dazzling light show on the small stage ... aging paintballer quickly slips into a relaxed sleep-like state)
doctor drew: "so, you are having trouble with your bunkers again, I see? .. How are those meds working out?"

aging paintballer : "well doc - I got pretty toasted that first night. But after pissing blue for a week the wife's Ficus lost all of its leaves and looks like it might die soon. I'm afraid if I dope up again, the wife will off me in my sleep"

doctor drew : "haybails - sir!, Have you considered not pissing on the ficus?"

aging paintballer : "But DOC... I thought you said when I had bad bunker dreams to ALWAYS piss on the Ficus"

Grendel 11-05-2009 06:55 AM


Originally Posted by Tugboater203 (Post 1036115)
I like it! Do you mind if I post it on my fields page?

Trust me Thumper does not mind his ego needs stroking every once and a while :p

You entice me from afar
You excite me as I approach
You spread for me in embrace

I stay by your side while we are attacked
I use you to my satisfaction

Soon after I turn my back you accept another
You spread for my enemy in embrace
You aid my enemy in my demise

You faithless whore

You accepting again on my return
You aide me in revenge

You faithless whore

Big Bear27 11-05-2009 12:46 PM

^ That's great!

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