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Old 07-23-2018, 11:52 PM   #1 (permalink)
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Guys!

I just swatted a 2 inch long house centipede on the ceiling in my bedroom. I channeled the fury of Zeus to make sure I smote that mother good. When I hit it, half of it fell to the ground in a shrivelled massacred mess, and the other half shot across the room, bounced off the wall and landed by the floorboards where it crawled into the effing wall!

How is it alive? Where is it going? Am I in trouble?

I figure best case scenario is that 6 months from now i stumble across its hollowed out, mummified carcass in some horror movie scene where i reach for something and it falls on my face.

Worst case scenario realistically is probably that it holds a grudge and comes back when Im asleep to die in my open mouth.

Worst case overall scenario is that it goes and tells its centipede friends what i did and they all band together by intertwining their legs to form one giant supercentipede that eats me alive to get some ritualistic centipede vengeance.

Either way, Im considering just burning down my house right now and sleeping in the car.
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Old 07-24-2018, 12:00 AM   #2 (permalink)
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Nuke it from orbit, it is the only way to be sure. Also burn down the house in the short term to slow its regeneration, do you have any racing fuel?
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Old 07-24-2018, 12:04 AM   #3 (permalink)
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All i have is lube and bananas
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Old 07-24-2018, 12:09 AM   #4 (permalink)
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Wait a minute... they regenerate?!?!?

Oh man...


Im literally afraid to go barefoot in my own bedroom now.
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Old 07-24-2018, 12:12 AM   #5 (permalink)
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That's some Resident Evil 4 Ganados / Las Plagas stuff right there
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Old 07-24-2018, 12:22 AM   #6 (permalink)
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I once froze one solid with an inverted can of dust off - it was a chunk of ice sublimating away when I was finished with that can!!

that little beast thawed out and crawled away
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There I was sword in hand!
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OMG boobs, beers and Chad Thompson. Nothing could be better.
he doesn't like the salad . . . it reminds him of death
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Old 07-24-2018, 12:24 AM   #7 (permalink)
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Originally Posted by Fleeting Expertise View Post
That's some Resident Evil 4 Ganados / Las Plagas stuff right there
WHHHYYYYYY

Now i just have mental images of it bursting out of my cranium as i play video games.
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Old 07-24-2018, 12:24 AM   #8 (permalink)
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Quote:
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i once froze one solid with an inverted can of dust off - it was a chunk of ice sublimating away when i was finished with that can!!

That little beast thawed out and crawled away
why wont they die!!!
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Old 07-24-2018, 12:26 AM   #9 (permalink)
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Brass and Wood Fan
__________________
Quote:
DSA: You know you were a kept kid if you jacked off to Frazetta barbarian babes!
There I was sword in hand!
TANSTAAFL
Quote:
Originally Posted by matteekay
I agree with Don.
Quote:
Originally Posted by DashHopes
OMG boobs, beers and Chad Thompson. Nothing could be better.
he doesn't like the salad . . . it reminds him of death
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Old 07-24-2018, 12:33 AM   #10 (permalink)
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This sounds like a job for, Coyote Peterson!!!!
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