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Old 12-21-2016, 11:15 AM   #1 (permalink)
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Today is a very special day.

It is the birthday of WALLYLLAMA

For those of you who don't know the story of Wally, I will re-tell it now:

Wally was born on North Sentinel Island, in the bay of Bengal. The Sentinelese are one of the few un-contacted tribes remaining in the world, who number (to the best guesses) in the low hundreds. They are a hunter gatherer tribe.

This meager existence wasn't enough for Wally, who the tribe dubbed "The Great White Hope". At age 4, he felled a tree with a handsaw made from the jaw of a giant-piranha, and hollowed it out making himself a small boat. Despite the lack of tools and knowledge of metallurgy on the island, he somehow outfitted the boat with brass hardware and tack, and a small engine made from coconuts, and powered by fish oil.

With no particular destination in mind, he headed out, sailing off into the Bay of Bengal. He was caught in a strong current, and eventually, and paradoxically washed up in the landlocked country of Bolivia. THis was an interesting time for Bolivia, political turmoil was in the air like spring-love. Wally assumed the nom de-guerre of Paz Estenssoro (after having taught himself the language in a mere three days) Wally led the people to a revolution that turned the country on it's head, and introduced universal suffrage among other notable reforms. The excitement of the revolution soon wore off, and at 8 years old, he slipped off his fake moustache and abandoned the presidential palace, and hopped on the back of a Llama and headed out for new adventures.

After a few drinks at a bar in Rio De Janeiro, an ill advised dare found Wally doing push-ups on top of an airplane on the tarmac. Unbeknownst to him, the airplane was about to take off. Wally clung on for dear life, and using his pocket knife, some loose change, his belt and the leather insole of one of his shoes fashioned an oxygen mask that sustained him at cruising altitude. The flight was unbearably long, and by stark contrast to the cold temperatures at 30,000 feet, he landed in a hot, humid country he had never heard of: "Vietnam". As he slid down the wing, and to the ground he was approached by a cadre of old military officials, and promptly brought in for questioning. IT seemed Wally had landed in Hanoi, and by the time he left the small interrogation room in the otherwise stark airport, he had not only learned the native tongue, but had been awarded the rank of general and assumed the identity of Vo Nguyen Giap. His victories were legend, first evicting the French and then later the Americans, his tactics are still taught today, and he penned several books. The war took it's toll on him though, and by age 16, Wally had seen enough of war and was ready for a life of peace and creativity. During his time in Vietnam he had made a powerful Hollywood friend (Jane Fonda) who invited him back to Hollywood to retreat from the limelight, and to meditate and relax. Wally accepted, but the limelight didn't.

Wally wasn't on the ground long before he was behind the lens of the Cameras, directing such films as Apocalypse Now, Aliens, And Star Wars (all under different names) as well as occasionally starring in films as well (in Pumping Iron, starring as Arnold Schwarzenegger, and in First Blood as John Rambo, and in Scarface as Tony Montana). Hollywood's call was strong, but Wally began to feel as though he had 'seen it all and done it all'. Thousands of pounds of cocaine, pot, heroin, and acid later he was beginning to burn out. At 25 he had 51 Oscars, 194 film credits, as well as having starred in several adult films (where he also won numerous awards). The world was changing and Wally could feel it.

Wally moved to Canada, where after a few days was made Ambassador to Iran. Shortly after he arrived in Iran the American embassy was overrun, and six Americans arrived at the Embassy where he took them in, eventually getting them out of the country (Wally would later write, direct and star in a film "Argo' about this same event).

Realizing at this point that his political acumen was beyond reproach, Wally turned his attention towards doing good in the world, his most famous and successful campaign ended in the demolition of the Berlin Wall, on 9 November 1989, where after a marathon negotiation Wally convinced the East Germans and Russia to abandon the wall, and Communism.

Now 35, Wally was beginning to come into his own. Speaking more than 47 languages (48), and with accolades that included the Nobel Peace Prize (awarded under a pseudonym) Wally was wondering what to do with his life. He travelled to Africa, where seeking a sense of purpose he planned on tracking and killing a marauding man eating lion (with his bare hands). WHile he was there he had a brief conversation with F. W. de Klerk (convincing him to end apartheid), and he returned to England (his new home) having been unable to find a suitable Lion to challenge, he had stalked and killed the man-eating Leopard of Karanja.

From England Wally boarded a small twin-engine airplane, and told the pilot: "Take me somewhere new".

Wally landed in Coarsegold California.

He has been there ever since.

Today we celebrate his birthday, the birthday of a great and humble man, a man too kind for words, a man whose artistic vision knows no boundaries, a man who we could all learn from, and whose existence makes our lives all a little better.

Happy birthday Wally.

Last edited by Mar; 12-21-2016 at 11:28 AM.
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Old 12-21-2016, 11:22 AM   #2 (permalink)
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Happy birthday to an amazing human being who sets a great example.

Love you buddy
Originally Posted by Crimson Death View Post
I'm waiting for Walz. If you're going to do something do it right.
Originally Posted by Cunha View Post
Just fyi everyone the answer is stock class for all questions related to paintball and to solve all paintball related problems except carbon emissions because we gotta use those 12 grams.

Double FYI for paintball rules there should be no "offer" of surrender, its either mandatory surrender at X distance when guy is behind you or no surrender and you get shot in the booty. "offer" of surrender makes for some ridiculous and dangerous john woo tactics.
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Old 12-21-2016, 11:27 AM   #3 (permalink)
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Happy birthday WALZ!

Originally Posted by Diomedes View Post
Tippmann 98s do not have problems. You've broken the universe. Impressive.
Originally Posted by BretG View Post
Dang, I was going to give you my thesis outline
"Psycho-Sexual Paintball; an analysis of penile ejaculatory surrogacy in paintball marking devices"
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Old 12-21-2016, 11:28 AM   #4 (permalink)
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HBD Wally!
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Old 12-21-2016, 11:29 AM   #5 (permalink)
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Originally Posted by MaD View Post
Since this thread started with boobs what are we supposed to derail it with?
Originally Posted by Drum View Post
Someone ban that painthappy dude
Stock class = 12grams and a stick feed. End discussion.
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Old 12-21-2016, 11:34 AM   #6 (permalink)
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Happy birthday buddy!

A nicer guy, one cannot find.
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Old 12-21-2016, 12:41 PM   #7 (permalink)
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Happy birthday Wally!!
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My modest collection: Customized PMI Trracer,"Le Frelon", Brass Eagle Nightmare LB Comp "Foxtrot November", Customized Sheridan P68SC, Tippmann Pro/Am, PT Extreme, ACI F4 Illustrator, 2k2 WGP Black Magic "Requiem", 2006 SP Shocker NXT "Elegy"

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Old 12-21-2016, 12:45 PM   #8 (permalink)
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Happy Happy Birthday!
Its all peaches & sunshine baby, peaches & sunshine..
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Force this into a gaussian distributed parabolic curve!
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Old 12-21-2016, 12:45 PM   #9 (permalink)
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Brass Freak, Freak XL compatible and Equation inserts in .670, .678, and .685

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Old 12-21-2016, 12:47 PM   #10 (permalink)
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And Velcor said, "LET THERE BE WALZ!"

And it was good.

The day I tried to live
I wallowed in the blood and mud with All the other pigs
Singing One more time around
Might do it
One more time around
Might make it

RIP Mr. Cornell. thank you.

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