I am No Longer Giving to Charities!

[Cdn_Cuda]

I agree with donating time. I’m not rich by any means, but I like to give back and help, sometimes that is money but mostly it’s time.

Given my wife works for charities, I always help out at events, with equipment etc. The best thing I’ve been able to do is help at a summer camp for kids who’s family members have/had ALS. Was there for the very first year the camp started, and 8 more years after, even after my wife left that charity. Only missed one year due to the birth of my daughter.

My goal was to volunteer at the camp until we had campers come back to fill the leader role, and the could share their experienced ALS first hand, and help the younger kids deal with what they were going through, as they themselves had been through it.

My last year was just before COVID hit. We had a some great kids- now young adults - return as leaders, so I stepped aside. It was an absolute amazing experience and one I hold very dear. It makes me feel sad for the kids that has missed the experience due to COVID.

Damn I miss that camp and those people….

[Magoo]

Man, this Boy Scout discourse makes me genuinely sad.

I'm an Eagle Scout. I put years and years of my life into achieving that. It was supposed to be a crowning accomplishment. But now it's just, well, "I didn't get raped, so..."

And that's what it's all about, eh?

I was fortunate enough to have had a father actively involved with my development within the Scouts. I chose a local troop that wasn't particularly sketchy. So I got everything I could out of it, and I finished it out, and I had some amazing experiences. Hell, my troop even acknowledged atheism/agnosticism, non-denominational religion, and homosexuality. Like I said, I got lucky.

But all of this in the news, I get it. It's way too easy to hide some bad goings-on within the organization. I see it, and I see it well.

It just makes me sad.

As for charities, I dunno. Find your truth.

[vijil]

I work for a charity.

Whether it's deliberate or subconscious, people running any organisation that pays their salary and runs on donations will feel a strong pull towards optimising their income stream. Things that optimise income streams:

• Guilt tripping in general. Making you feel super uncomfortable if you don't give.
• Making it incredibly easy to sign up (but difficult to cancel).
• Making people sign up on the spot before they've had a chance to think through it, mostly just to get you to go away.
• Creating social pressure - everyone else is signing up now, why aren't you?
• All of the above is achieved using physical meetings. In person, people are far more impressionable and don't have time to think. Think door to door sales.
• Focusing hard on the emotional stuff without bothering too much with the facts and figures.
  • In charities, this typically involves showing tearjerking videos of the poor sad folks with problem X
  • Worst case, they'll bring in poor sad folk with problem X to parade in front of you. I've seen this at fundraising dinners and... ugh.
• Removing distractions. You'll see a general reluctance to be transparent with finances, and a tendency to focus on the charity areas that generate the most buzz.
• Appetite for sexiness. How often do you see a charity raising funds to do *maintenance* on a third world water system? Almost never, because it's not sexy. But a NEW amazing water system that will solve all their problems? Sure! And so you end up with multiple water systems literally built on top of the old ones that were failing, instead of things just being maintained.

You'll note that MLM schemes like Amway use much the same tactics.

[Siress]

Any charity that looks like a business has business expenses they're taking out of donations first and foremost.

I found out that those expenses were priority number 1 for my local United Way chapter or whatever when I was growing up - to the extent that there was no discernible amount going toward the community. A fried of mine at the time, a senior citizen that got onto the board of the local UW, clued me into this after he found out and tried to get lawyers involved. It was apparently all legal. A large-scale grift. Soup kitchens, can drives, direct-to-community support...that's where it's at. The microloans are a curiosity to me. I tried an early version of it but didn't keep track.

[shooter311]

I like to give micro loans, but I have not donated much to the company that runs them. I like the idea that you are helping people who truly help themselves.

For those who don't know a micro loan is when a person gives a small amount towards a larger loan. An example would be that a woman in Kenya wants to buy a goat to start a goat milk business, she asks for a $500 loan. A whole bunch of people kick in $25 until $500 is raised. She then pays it back in the agreed upon payments and reach person gets their money back in small increments until the loan is paid off.

I have given a number of loans and have almost Everytime even paid back in full. It's not donating because you get your money back but you really help people.

The goal is to give interest free or very low interest loans. That's where I made sure to research and I use kiva.org.

If anyone has any interest go to kiva.org or this link https://www.kiva.org/invitedby/eric1773 and check it out. I don't get anything for referrals, so I'm not trying to make a sales pitch. It's just a good feeling getting the updates on how much you helped a mother in a developing country, and all it did was tie up $25 for 6 months.

[Foster]

Lots of people hate United Way, get in line. For one thing they help fund the Boy Scouts, which is a soon to be former organization that couldn’t decide if it wanted to be homophobic or the largest child sex ring in American history (tough choices

Wow.
99% of BSA is 100% local.
great job shooting your mouth off on a public Internet forum. Highly irresponsible and damaging to a great many fathers who dedicate time and resources to helping raise, educate, care for youth.

[Foster]

Man, this Boy Scout discourse makes me genuinely sad.

I'm an Eagle Scout. I put years and years of my life into achieving that. It was supposed to be a crowning accomplishment. But now it's just, well, "I didn't get raped, so..."

And that's what it's all about, eh?

I was fortunate enough to have had a father actively involved with my development within the Scouts. I chose a local troop that wasn't particularly sketchy. So I got everything I could out of it, and I finished it out, and I had some amazing experiences. Hell, my troop even acknowledged atheism/agnosticism, non-denominational religion, and homosexuality. Like I said, I got lucky.

But all of this in the news, I get it. It's way too easy to hide some bad goings-on within the organization. I see it, and I see it well.

It just makes me sad.

As for charities, I dunno. Find your truth.

I support your decision to be proud.

[Axel]

There has to be a balance. It's bad optics having your representatives drive around in luxury cars with designer brands. At the same time, you should be able to work for a nonprofit without being a charity case yourself.

I like the model some extra-church ministries (that is, religious, but not affiliated with a particular denomination) use around here. You get hired with a "salary" up to, say, $50,000/year; then it becomes your task to go around to local churches and individuals to raise support for that salary, up to the limit. The people who are giving know that their money goes to pay John Smith's wages so he can devote his career to the cause. It's fully transparent, and doesn't feel so much like "overhead" that way

Not that that model applies well to large organizations... But maybe that's part of the appeal

I gave to UW once and they took 3 months to cash my check. Never again.

[shooter311]

There has to be a balance. It's bad optics having your representatives drive around in luxury cars with designer brands. At the same time, you should be able to work for a nonprofit without being a charity case yourself.

I honestly didn't have an issue with her optics, I had an issue with her having way more than I had, but then trying to guilt me into giving more because I had so much, and these people had so little. Who knows, she may be giving 50% of her pay, but by the looks of it she was making more than double what I made and was spending way more on herself than I was spending on myself and family.


My boss and I had a talk after the meeting and I told him how I felt, he agreed and only gives because of the peer pressure, but he said he gives the majority of his charity to his home town Church. He isn't super religious, but the pastor has been there forever, and doesn't appear to be spending huge amounts of money. He also said the small town churches know who needs it and who doesn't so they won't just give it all away to free loaders or scammers. It goes to family's who have medical expenses, lot jobs, etc. I feel like it is the same situation with going to the school's social worker, they will know for sure who really needs it.

[Arthur]

I give a lot to the homeless, directly, money, food, cannabis, smokes when I used to smoke… I get shit for it but I don’t care, I give whatever I have. I once lived in poverty myself and it hurts to see people still there.

Aside from sponsoring a child in Africa, I do not give to charities and especially not in the super market check out. (sir would you like us to make a donation to XXX, which we will donated in our name only, then we use it as a tax write-off and underpay our workers while continuing to treat them like cattle)

There wouldn't be a need for such an extensive market of charities and non-profits if we just had a more equitable system. I'm not trying to go political here and no I'm not a marxist either. I'm actually quite libertarian.

[SignOfZeta]

Wow.
99% of BSA is 100% local.
great job shooting your mouth off on a public Internet forum. Highly irresponsible and damaging to a great many fathers who dedicate time and resources to helping raise, educate, care for youth.

https://www.npr.org/2021/07/01/10123...vivors-victims

80,000!

Don’t blame me for ruining anyone’s reputation. This is multiple generations of documented Boy Scout on Boy Scout crime that I was never a part of in any way. United Way was. Me talking about it is not the problem. People should have talked about it 60 years ago and then the organization would be doing better. I sure wouldn’t send my kid to them knowing what it is, knowing that they’ve been looking the other way since JFK was president. Few will! So it will eventually die like the NFL, for the same reasons, and good riddance. It’s way too late to be a hater or an apologist for this organization anyway. It’s over. I can’t change it and neither can you. Yelling at me isn’t going to get that albatross off your neck.

[Siress]

Well said, to a point. I don't have enough faith in society to fix these issues. They'll have awareness campaigns, some repenting, and then when the crowd looks the other way...bam...they'll be r**ing kids again using the same ol' abuse of trust and authority.

edit: realized this is the open forum. Need to reign this in for closer proximity to the campfire, when the children have gone to bed.

[MrBarraclough]

Unless I somehow glossed over it, I don't think anyone has mentioned Charity Navigator yet. You can use their site to look up financial and organizational information on hundreds, perhaps thousands, of charities both national and local. It's a free, one stop due diligence shop. You should expect there to be some overhead, especially with national organizations, so it will be rare for 100% of donations to go to the intended beneficiaries. But if you poke around a bit you'll find that there can be some huge differences in adminstrative expense to donation ratios. Some charities are very efficient, while others are apparently very top-heavy with overhead expenses (looking at you, American Red Cross).

If you want to keep it simple and local, here is my suggestion: Call the local office of whichever state agency places children in foster care in your state. Where I live it is the Department of Human Resources, in many other states they are called Child Protective Services or something similar. Ask if they have a fund for helping with incidential expenses. They probably will. State appropriations usually only pay for the very basics. The stipends that foster parents receive are often well less than the actual cost of fostering children, especially school aged children. In my state, if kids in foster care want to play a sport, play an instrument, or do any kind of extracurricular activities, those costs aren't covered. My local county DHR office has a charitable fund for that sort of thing. I'm a member of my local chapter of SERTOMA (SERvice TO MAnkind) and a significant chunk of the money our chapter raises each year is given to this foster care fund so the kids can play sports and join the band and go on field trips and such just like any other kids. If your local office doesn't happen to have a fund for that, I can promise you they have other needs. The state is already paying the overhead expenses. The social workers' salaries aren't affected by your donation, and you know they aren't extravagant to begin with. The needs will always outstrip the resources. Always. Your donations will not go to waste. I realize that we're not talking about food or life-saving medicine or cancer research here, but I can assure you that kids in foster care have experienced trauma (being taken into care is itself often traumatizing) and helping to inject a bit of normalcy into their lives is a huge deal for them.

[Foster]

https://www.npr.org/2021/07/01/10123...vivors-victims

80,000!

Don’t blame me for ruining anyone’s reputation. This is multiple generations of documented Boy Scout on Boy Scout crime that I was never a part of in any way. United Way was. Me talking about it is not the problem. People should have talked about it 60 years ago and then the organization would be doing better. I sure wouldn’t send my kid to them knowing what it is, knowing that they’ve been looking the other way since JFK was president. Few will! So it will eventually die like the NFL, for the same reasons, and good riddance. It’s way too late to be a hater or an apologist for this organization anyway. It’s over. I can’t change it and neither can you. Yelling at me isn’t going to get that albatross off your neck.

nice.
anyway, you don’t “send your kid through it”.
it is a local group of parents overseeing a youth led organization. That simple. And statistics will prove that there are a LOT of fucked up people that will use that as an opportunity to do bad things. Bash BSA National all you want. I would agree with you.
I am not a National defender by any means.
just a guy who had a great experience as a youth and a very rewarding 2nd go around as an adult leader in a well run local troop without any known history of bad doings.

I did not intend to yell, and I do not intend to blame you for ruining BSA’s reputation. It’s just so easy to use the big broad brush in matters that span the entire country and many years. Forgetting that so many local parents give so much of their time and talent in the name of raising well rounded civil minded young Men and Women. And we constantly have this crap thrown in our face, undermining everything. It really leaves you with a decision to work hard to fix something or take the easy way and walk away. I don’t see any reason to demean those who take on that challenge.
-out

[Rickfactor2]

I was in line at the liquor store the other day and they were asking for donations for wildfire relief. The person before gave $5 and was told they were a wonderful person by the cashier.

My turn comes up and she asks me in the same cheerful manner.

"No, I don't think I will."

In all honesty, it felt better than every other time that I have said yes which was 100% of the time. Her shock was worth every penny saved and the stain upon my soul.

I will help anyone but I want to see the direct impact of my effort.

[MrBarraclough]

I've adopted a personal rule of simply refusing all point-of-sale charitable solicitations. My local supermarket seemed to have a different one each week for a while a few years ago and I got sick of it.