I'm a monster aaahhhhh!
The bandages came off a few days ago. Surgery seems to be successful, the tendon was completely severed and the nerves were only partially cut, the doc was able to reattach everything. Only have very limited movement and no feeling on the side of the finger near the tip right now. Amount of recovery is unknown as I damaged stuff in the worst possible place.
As for how I did it, I've given people the following stories.
Ambushed by ninjas.
Bit by a lion.
Fisting a cow.
Actual story is quite lame. I was trying to separate frozen burger patties with a fillet knife the patties popped loose and I put the knife, full force, about 4 inches into my finger.