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Old 04-10-2017, 10:15 PM   #1 (permalink)
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Things You Don't Say To Your Wife

I have never been married, nor even engaged. The only common denominator in all of my relationships has been me. Maybe I just don't know what not to say. So what are the things you don't say to your wife?

Prompted by this Tim Hawkins song:
Things You Don't Say To Your Wife



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Old 04-10-2017, 11:02 PM   #2 (permalink)
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Your sister is better in bed.
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Old 04-10-2017, 11:21 PM   #3 (permalink)
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Your sister is better in bed.
Even if it's true.......
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Old 04-10-2017, 11:30 PM   #4 (permalink)
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You never...ever...never ever say "I told you so", "you are wrong", or anything other than "Yes Dear, I love You".
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I'd date a girl with a cocker.
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....bro, you just gave me a quarter chub.
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Old 04-10-2017, 11:32 PM   #5 (permalink)
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What do you want for dinner?

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Last edited by Soolio; 04-10-2017 at 11:44 PM.
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Old 04-10-2017, 11:34 PM   #6 (permalink)
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I'm with Soolio on this biggest can of worms ever conceived by humankind.
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Old 04-10-2017, 11:41 PM   #7 (permalink)
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For me it has always been say things you mean and make sure the gal in your life knows that. If things don't work out and you were always honest then it is probably for the best.

In line with the humors side of things: You looked better with makeup, someone got into ice cream (whilst patting their belly), calm down, relax, you are just so cute when you are angry....the list never really ends.
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Old 04-11-2017, 12:21 AM   #8 (permalink)
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I say all these things, probably why I am still single!
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Old 04-11-2017, 12:36 AM   #9 (permalink)
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Well, I'm just going to give up now, then.
My past girlfriend, I could talk to like a guy. Meaning she knew what she wanted, how to tell me what she was upset about, and didn't take offense to things that were patently offensive. And would usually poke fun if they actually were.
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Old 04-11-2017, 01:00 AM   #10 (permalink)
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Let me tell you how my mom used to do that
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